One of the first lessons I learned when I joined Procter & Gamble was part of the “Effective Communication” training, and it was very intriguing at first: “You must always respect the New York Times rule”. And while it’s been some time since that training, what I see happening in business in the recent years makes be refer to this rule much more often that I thought (and frankly speaking, much more often than I wished)!
To cut the long story short, the rule simply says: “If you feel comfortable seeing your picture on the first page of the New York Times newspaper together with what you SAID, DID or WROTE, then you can SAY it, DO it or WRITE it”
The rule assumes two important things:
- You have a healthy degree of ethics and common sense – therefore you WOULD feel ashamed to be publicly exposed for having done, said or written something that you want to keep private.
- ANYTHING you write, say or do CAN become public in the next second. And while this may NOT happen, it is safest to assume it WILL!
While the first point should be a no-brainer, as we should all be ethical in our dealings, the second point is worth detailing because, in my experience, we tend to grossly underestimate the odds of something like that happening. In fact, it happens quite often that our actions, words or actions become public knowledge without our preliminary consent, and sometimes even without us knowing. I’m sure it happened to you at least once to send an email to the wrong person because you were in a rush, or to reply angrily only to regret it in the next second. Or worse, to say something confidential to somebody “off-the-record” only to see it being public shortly after. If you do not believe me, life will prove me right, but on your expense!
But how to protect yourself from being a victim of not following this rule? Here are some tips:
- Never say, write or do ANYTHING when you are angry or by impulse. Remember the Chinese saying “Beter to be silent and look stupid, than to speak and remove any doubt!”
- Always re-read all emails you write, including the email addressees. For important emails, leave them for a few hours or for the following day, then re-read them, only afterwards push the send button.
- Assume there is NO off-the-record! So, say only whatever you feel comfortable being public knowledge.
- All your actions generate consequences. Always, without exception! It is your choice to make the consequences be good and not bad! So, always be principle-based, as hard as it may be at times. People will respect you for your principles, even if they might not like you in that moment.
- Without becoming a paranoid, prepare for cases when your words and/or actions will be taken out of the context or on purpose twisted to show a negative angle. The political landscape nowadays is full of exceptionally good examples, unfortunately. In all cases, reply firmly, professionally, and without anger! Remember that you need a minimum of 2 parties for any war to take place. Don’t be that 2nd party!
